The Gift of Asking

My daddy died in my arms and changed my life forever. With his dying breath, he told me he had lived his dreams and was dying a happy and peaceful man. This started me on a mission to encourage others to find their passion.

His words kept resonating in my head, but I wasn’t sure how to start. At first, my sadness and grief paralyzed me.

Through prayer, meditation, reading, and conversation, I slowly recovered and formed a plan for reaching out to others. One idea was to create a television series that would help others achieve their goals. It would be about extraordinary “ordinary people” who were doing what they love in life. Of course, I had never produced a TV series and hadn’t the slightest idea where to start.

My first step was to share my dream, asking everyone if they knew how to create and produce a television series. Many barriers and detours blocked my way, sometimes making me doubt my purpose, but just at the moment I was wondering if my idea was crazy, a door would open and an opportunity would walk in.

I began to ask for what I wanted.

This was a brand new viewpoint  which was hard to carry out at first. Most of us have been taught from childhood that it’s not polite to ask.

When I was featured in a magazine article about powerful women,  the editor “What is the next mountain you want to climb?”  I answered that I was going to produce and host a TV series about people doing what they love in life.

Immediately, my phone rang off the hook with people eager to help me climb that mountain. Within six months, I was producing, writing, and hosting a national TV series called “Starstyle - Live Your Dreams.” Within a year, the show was reaching 20 million people and winning awards. The premise of the show is that you should follow your heart and live your dream, not for the money, not for the glamour, but because  your chosen work is what really feeds your soul. I found a universe starved for inspiration and role models to emulate.

How did I achieve my dream? I asked for help. It wasn’t easy. Asking was foreign to me, and I got lots of turndowns. Some were devastating, some were blessings in disguise. Despite the discouragement of major roadblocks and the heartbreak of promises broken, I kept asking.

Asking has now become a part of my life, but I only ask for what will help me serve others. People generally get what they expect to get. I expect people to say “Yes,” and they usually do because I ask with integrity and from my heart.

One of the best skills you can ever learn is to ask for what you want. You have the ability and responsibility to achieve greatness. You were born to be bold and brilliant. No matter what kinds of obstacles you face in life, you can overcome them if you ask enough people to help and give them a good reason why you deserve their help. Successful people love to help others become successful. It is part of their gift to the world.

I encourage you to formulate your life plan and decide what help you will need. The treasure of a well-lived life comes not from an enchanted lamp, but from an open heart. Ask wisely and you shall receive. Knock on enough doors, and one will open.

Exercise: Ask and You Shall Receive

Asking is hard in the beginning, so start small. Sit quietly for a few minutes, and think about something you really want at home. Maybe it’s a hug, help with the dishes, less noise, or a special gift from your loved one. Write down a clear question that states your wish. Make your request to someone you know will say “yes.”

After you get a “yes” at home, decide on something to ask for in your business life. Maybe more responsibility,  more cooperation, new equipment, a different schedule.

Create a master wish list of what you really want in the different areas of your life. Then create another list of the people or organizations. that could help grant these wishes. Start asking and keep practicing. Most important, be grateful. Saying “thanks” is as important as saying “please.”

Anything is possible when you dare to ask.

* * *

Better to ask twice than to lose your way once.
Danish proverb.

Cynthia Brian  2001-2005, Starstyle® Productions, LLS. All Rights reserved.   This article was excerpted from Cynthia’s book, “Be the Star You Are! 99   Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference.” Cynthia Brian, President of Starstyle® Productions, LLC is a   much-in-demand key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of   radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist of “Business Bytes™,  and NY Times best selling author of “Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul,” “Be   the Star You Are! 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to   Make a Difference “(Ten Speed Press) and “The Business of Show Business”. She is Founder/CEO of the 501  (c)(3) charity, Be the Star   You Are!  which empowers youth at risk.  She is also a certified   interior designer, garden guide, and acting/success coach. Cynthia offers success coaching with personal/phone consultations and can be   reached at PO Box 422, Moraga, California 94556, 925-377-STAR,   http://www.star-style.com and http://www.bethestaryouare.org. Tune into her weekly radio show, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! live on Wednesdays from 6-7pm PST and archived  on World Talk Radio.

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